Before the Doctor

I promised to post about what has happened up until I started this blog for you. So here's a little about that ..

Around November 2012 I became sick. Throwing up, crabby, sleepy, I really wanted to be alone 24/7. Your dad and I had a fight and I left to stay with Mimi (that's what she says she wants to be called right now - either way my mom) I still wanted to be alone. I didn't want to talk to anyone because I didn't have anything to say. My mom thought I was pregnant. I didn't think so but I was afraid to take a test to find out for sure. I was scared because your dad had told me multiple times he wasn't ready for a baby. I didn't have a job and we were living with his dad. I see why he was saying that, now. However at the time I didn't understand. I was afraid to take a test because if it said positive, I was afraid he would be mad at me. Looking back it seems so silly now. But that's where I was then.

A few weeks passed and I wasn't as sick as I was before. Your aunts and cousins came in from North Carolina and Vegas for Thanksgiving. We had dinner with my family, just us at Mimi's house. Then had dinner with everyone on dads side at Granny Pat's. That night Aunt Rah Rah and I went shopping at Walmart to get my camera at a Black Friday price :) I wasn't feeling up to venturing anywhere else. I was instantly sick again.

The next day was a rough one. I woke up so sick I couldn't get out of bed. Weird things were happening to me and I was in horrible pain. I still refused to go see a doctor because I was so scared. Finally about a week later I went. I didn't see my regular doctor I saw who could get me in at the time. Test were ran, ultrasounds were done, and I was put back in the waiting room. Finally I was called back. The doctor told me I *might* have had a miscarriage. I was instantly crushed. He said I was probably 6 weeks along but there was no way to say for sure.

It was hard for your dad and I. For a while. Things have gotten better now as we try to not live in the past but move forward for our future. It is particularly hard for me. Though I know and trust in God that one day I will become pregnant and have a successful delivery and be able to see your smiling face.

Until next time ..

-Mommy

The introduction post..

Dear baby..

Well, I guess you're not so much of a 'baby' now if you're reading this. Let me you a little about myself and your daddy. & Why I wanted to make this blog story in the first place.

Ok.. Mommy: As I am writing this, I'm laying under a big fuzzy blanket, snuggled with our Molly cat. I am watching A Cinderella Story on the Oxygen channel and I'm sure you haven't heard of that movie :) I'm 22 years old - almost 23. I'm not working right now but hope to be soon again.. (Don't tell daddy but he's been driving me crazy haha) My favorite things are anything crafty and baking.

Daddy: Your daddy is all about sports; basketball more than anything else. Right now he is gone to a meeting to choose the All District players for 2013. This is his second year coaching the varsity basketball team at Council High School. He is always gone doing something with basketball or his team. This year his team is in a 4 way tie for 3rd place in the district. If you have learned to know anything about your daddy, he is on the edge of his seat until we find out the coin toss.

Since I haven't posted before, I will have to post about our journey thus far. Just know that your daddy and I want you in our lives so much!

We love you :)